Particle Theory Explained in Simple Terms

What are we made of?  What is our substance?  I've been involved in a project to try to determine this.  You might have heard about it in the news.  I think we've had a break through. The project involves smashing subatomic particles using a kite, kiteboard, the water, and my head.  The goal is to create a collision that mimics the Big Bang, the explosion that started the Universe, but on a smaller scale. I recently discovered a technique that makes the collisions more effective. Unhooked riding.  It accelerates the crashing of particles in both frequency and intensity.   Today, using unhooked riding, I believe that I made a completely new particle, the Kook Particle. This particle was created while smashing my head and kite into the water at high velocity at the same instant. It was a clarifying moment.   You'll probably be hearing a lot more about Particle Theory in the media, although it may not be explained in such simple, clear terms as I have tried to do here.  Here are some tips, to me, for the next time I unhook and smash some atoms to see what I'm made of. (If there is a next time). Unhooked Riding Prep- Depower the kite a little.  Switch leash to suicide mode. Down wind- Always ride a little down wind when unhooked to reduce power. Kite at 45- Overhead unhooked can mess you up. Oh Shit- If you have one of these moments let go of the bar and grab the chicken loop. Crash- This is what the experiment is all about. Why else would anybody kite unhooked? Hardings, Kitesurfed, SW, 11-22, Rally14M/ Mako150, with Sam, Josiah, John, Johnny D, Dillon, How-U-Doin, Amy, Others. Thanks to Sam for tips and inspiration on unhooked riding. Thanks to Josiah for the harness loan when mine broke into smaller particles.